Bob Marley had some serious issues with pasta products containing inferior meats. A lot of his songs were about this subject. Songs such as ‘Could this be Dove?’, ‘Get Ham, Stand Ham’ and ‘No Chicken, No Pie’. Possibly his most famous song about nefarious companies replacing meat sources with inferior alternatives is ‘Buffalo Shoulder’, a…

Johnny Bovi wrote some great lyrics, these are not some of them. The sad tale of Johnny B’s Nan who had an abusive relationship with Johnny’s sister, Gina Jon Bovi. Gina and her boyfriend, Tommy, worked at his Nan’s Sleigh and Sock factory for many years but yearned for freedom. To the tune of ‘Livin’…

Marc Bolan of T-Rex demonstrating why drugs and rock and roll don’t always mix well.

A poem without toes.

Does anyone ever use the last one? Have the same ‘last bags’ been around since the dawn of time? Did Alexander the Great once look in his tea chest, see one sad little bag and immediately rush off to the shops for more?

None can escape its evil wheels. Wheels that go round and round. Wheels that smell like ass.

Another example of how, with a few lyrical tweaks, a song can be improved immensely.

My own version of Catemian Rhapsody. I don’t care that someone else did it first…Fuck You Nigel!

A poem about some bloke called Bill.

Unsurprisingly – A Poem About Toes.