Bored with nothing to do during the Coronavirus lockdown, isolation or quarantine?
Why not create some lovely homemade arts and crafts?
Create some lovely items to beautify your home with simple things you probably already have lying around.
Todays insanitystuctable is the gorgeous sausandle.
A simple, easy way to liven up centrepieces, mantelpieces or just for daily use wherever a touch of je ne sais qois is required.
They are practical, easy to make, bring a touch of class to every situation and, as an added bonus, emit the lovely smell of cooking pig when lit.
You will need:
1. Some sausages. Preferably the really cheap ones with lots of fat, gristle, trotters, eyelids and scrotums.
You know the kind, the ones at the back of the freezer that give you the fear every time you look at them.
2. Some wooden cocktail sticks/toothpicks.
Procedure.
1. Grab sausage.
2. Stick cocktail stick in one end as the wick.
3. Stick three cocktail sticks in the other end to act as a tripodicaletical stand.
4. Light the end.
5. Feel proud at the excellence you have created.
Top Tip:
Males: Do not attempt this insanitystructable while naked or wearing shorts. It could be very painful if you stick a sharp cocktail stick in the wrong thing.
Why not team the standard sausandle with some empty berocca tubes.
Just leave out the tripodoletical stand and ram the end of the sausage in the tube.
There you go, your sausandle is instantly transformed into the sort of candle you would purchase at high class stores for hundreds of pounds.
Be the envy of all your friends and family!
As a simple centrepiece for an informal brunch, Sausandle has got it covered.
Sausandles make every table classier.
Finish your mantelpiece in style with the simple addition of sausandles.
On your special day, make the day even more speciallierlyer with the addition of sausandles to your centrepieces.
Who could argue that sausandles don’t make every centrepiece more attractive, beautiful and glamourous while the delicious scent of melting swine wafts in the air?
Sausandles; you owe it to yourself.
Babe might get a bit pissed though.
