Down At the Adelaide Aldi.


Aldi logo.
Best & Worst at the same time.

To the tune of ‘Cococabana’ by Barry Manilow.


[Verse 1]
Her name was Sasha, she was a slapper
With body shaping Lycra flares
That showed off her underwear
She needed pepper and some ciabatta
And while she sought a pepper-mill
Johnny sat behind the till

[Pre-chorus 1]
Then in the freezer aisle
He flashed his favourite smile
Slipped on some discarded fish fingers
And then Johnny swore

Fish fingers.
Glorious cod digits.

[Chorus]
At the Aldi, Adelaide Aldi (Adelaide Aldi)
First opened by Peter Capaldi (Wow!)
At the Aldi, Adelaide Aldi
Mince, lean and ground only two bucks a pound
Although please don’t, ask where it’s from
(Aldi, Adelaide Aldi)

[Verse 2]
His name was Davy. The supervisor
He noticed Sasha being wooed
Amongst the discount frozen food
He fancied Sasha, so wandered over
Told Johnny ‘go and mop the floor’
Some drunk’s pissed against the door

Man urinating.
‘Now I’ve….had….the piss of my liiiiiiiffeeee….’


[Pre-chorus 2]
Davy promised the world
And Sasha’s senses whirled
They were married by a shotgun
And Sasha’s life was screwed

[Chorus]
At the Aldi, Adelaide Aldi (Adelaide Aldi)
First opened by Peter Capaldi (Wow!)
At the Aldi, Adelaide Aldi
Mince, lean and ground only two bucks a pound
At the Aldi, John lost his glove
(Aldi, Adelaide Aldi)

[Bridge]
(Aldi, Adelaide Aldi)
(Adelaide Aldi)
Mince, lean and ground
Two bucks a pound

Mince.
Honest guv. Pure cow. No dogs innit at all!

[Verse 3]
Her name is Sasha, she was a slapper
But after having seven kids
Her pants are full of nought but skids
That Aldi’s closed now, just like Blockbuster
Now Sasha has to catch a train
For her beer and Quiche Lorraine

Quiche Lorraine.
Lorraine’s sister, Quiche Duncan.

[Pre-chorus 3]
She married Davy Jones
Who’s just a lazy bones
She chose Davy over Johnny
And now she’s lost her phone!

[Chorus]
At the Aldi, Adelaide Aldi (Adelaide Aldi)
First opened by Peter Capaldi (Wow!)
At the Aldi, Adelaide Aldi (Adelaide Aldi)
Mince, lean and ground only two quid a pound
At the Aldi, don’t lose your glove
(Aldi, Adelaide Aldi) don’t lose your glove
(Adelaide Aldi, Adelaide Aldi)

[Outro]
(Aldi, Adelaide Aldi)
(Adelaide Aldi, Adelaide Aldi)