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Sooty Gas.
Sooty and the crew. Where are they now?
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Marmalade.
Beak or lips? Who knows? Probably someone but not me. Either way they’re adept at using those things that help you get lids off jars. You know the ones. Your Gran probably has one somewhere,
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Smoking.
If you’re gonna smoke, smoke Chesterfields.
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The Greatest Paintings in History.
As an art aficionado, this is my list of the greatest paintings ever paintered. And I know everything so you can’t really argue with it.
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Those Who Look For Beauty.
Should turtles be the definitive yardstick of beauty? I think so.
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Random Voices 2: The Revenge of Random Voices.
Sometimes the voices come in the morning and try to convince me they made breakfast.
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Random Voices.
They come to me at night. Constantly shouting about stuff I care little for. Why won’t they leave me alone?
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Elephant Elephantiasis.
Massive elephants are destroying the world with cakey feet! What in the name of all things squidgy are we gonna do?!
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Poppadoms.
A stupid joke.
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Footy.
Back in the good old days when footy was good.