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Nothing Better To Do.
I always have something better to do with my time, but I’m an nihilistic anarchist so fuck that shit all the way to Hades.
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Hill Bill.
A poem about some bloke called Bill.
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Monoliths.
The rubbish slowly accumalating on the internet. Not that I have a right to talk about it. I’m contributing far more than my fair share.
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The Mysterious Nob of Hobs.
The oft told legend of the time when two people bought a packet of Hob Nobs and didn’t immediately eat them, preferring broccoli soup instead.
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Two Men Walk Into A Bar.
Two men walk into a bar. Or did they? Maybe they did, maybe they didn’t. Maybe the bar didn’t even exist. Who knows with bars these days?
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A Poem About Toes.
Unsurprisingly – A Poem About Toes.
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The Great Banana Argument.
An argument about those two common bedfellows: Religion and Bananas.
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The Truth Is Out There.
Terrifying evidence emerges of secret Nazi cloning experiments! Will the world ever be the same again? Probably.
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Don’t Let Go.
Don’t let go. Piers Morgan is a prick. Cat memes make me happy and people without legs should use Space Hoppers instead of wheelchairs.
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Coming Soon* to a Theatre Near You*
The Universal Serial Bus that always turns up late and is full of drunks and lumpy sick.