-
Sooty Gas.
Sooty and the crew. Where are they now?
-
Marmalade.
Beak or lips? Who knows? Probably someone but not me. Either way they’re adept at using those things that help you get lids off jars. You know the ones. Your Gran probably has one somewhere,
-
Smoking.
If you’re gonna smoke, smoke Chesterfields.
-
Wanted: Fed or Alive.
Some of the most diabolical, evil and downright naughty members of the animal kingdom. Approach with caution and a cheese and onion pasty.
-
Down At the Adelaide Aldi.
Another example of how, with a few lyrical tweaks, a song can be improved immensely.
-
The Greatest Paintings in History.
As an art aficionado, this is my list of the greatest paintings ever paintered. And I know everything so you can’t really argue with it.
-
Making Waves.
Verse One. The penguins were coming again. I thought I had lost them in the giant mushroom forest but that was clearly not the case. I could hear the slip slap of a thousand flipper feet growing closer as I knelt on the soft grass at the edge of the forest. My chest heaving from…
-
Those Who Look For Beauty.
Should turtles be the definitive yardstick of beauty? I think so.
-
Random Voices 2: The Revenge of Random Voices.
Sometimes the voices come in the morning and try to convince me they made breakfast.
-
Random Voices.
They come to me at night. Constantly shouting about stuff I care little for. Why won’t they leave me alone?