Lunatic Liz.


The Fackin’Queen!

Unbelievable news from the high-tech information centre deep under the Tower of London!

One of the footmen actually grew a third foot but the Beefeaters still won’t touch their burgers.

Less importantly, Queen Elizabeth II of England has suffered a mental breakdown.

During a fund raising dinner for the endangered lesser spotted mushroom fly larva newt, the Queen was seen to look up suddenly from her crispy pancakes and beans with a distinct expression of surprise on her face.

The venue fell silent and everyone watched as the Queen’s visage slowly changed. She looked up at the ceiling and smiled, before looking straight ahead with a look of horror on her royal features.

The Queen stood up slowly, cleared her throat and bellowed with the voice of a grizzled, ancient lumberjack who had spent a lifetime gargling glass,

“Sooooooo bored! Let’s blow this joint Felicity, these guys is all squares.”

The Queen then jumped up on the table in one, agile bound and started to remove her gown.

To the relief of all present, she dropped her gown to the floor to reveal motorcycle leathers.

She jumped from the table and ran to the exit, turning briefly to give the room the finger.

She was later seen speeding up the M1 on a large capacity motorcycle of unknown manufacture.

She is currently being pursued by a large number of police vehicles and many more members of the public.